The Nature of ‘Blog’

So then: here I am. I am a ‘blogger’. My ‘blog’ has been set up so that I can ‘blog’ about various subjects which interest or intrigue me enough to influence me to ‘blog’ about them. I have to say that I find this interesting, and, ironically, the very nature of the ‘blog’ shall be the first topic ever ‘blogged’ on my ‘blog’. That is to say that it is ironic in that the idea of a ‘blog’ is to write about things that one finds interesting enough to include in one’s ‘blog’, and that this phenomenon is interesting enough for me to ‘blog’ about it. Whilst it may sound confusing, it’s actually very funny and paradoxical.

It is intriguing because I am still racking my brains as to why I am sat here, cocooned in a darkened room whilst simultaneously writing about how I am sat here, cocooned in a darkened room. I could be doing other things, such as listening to my new ’Smashing Pumpkins’ album or making and duly eating some of the soup that I am sure is downstairs in the food-closet, or the ’lader’ as my mother insists on calling it; presumably because it saves time.  

I am satisfied with my conclusion that ‘Blogging’ is a wholly egotistical outing. I am to express - in as verbose a manner as possible - my thoughts and opinions on a whole host of categories of things and people are to read them and react with (the writer hopes) loud cries of agreement and praise. I will hence bolster my ego and further entrench my self-righteousness, which will be nice. That, it seems to me, is why we’re all doing it. This way we can assert ourselves as dogmatically and outrageously as possible and not face what could otherwise prove to be costly physical and emotional rebuttals. We’re safe here; we’re cocooned here. Long live the ‘blog’, and may it ’blog’ for as long as it needs to, for this way freedom of speech is truthfully defended. Good old Internet. God (if he did indeed exist) would bless thee, probably in an e-mail.